You’re at work all day, excited to come home and see the brand new, tiny, fluffy kitten you just adopted. In your mind are visions of cuddles, soft kitten fur, and purring.
Instead, you come home to something that looks more like this:
OH GOOD, YOU’RE HOME. LET’S PARTY.
Fangs are flying, nails scratching, and you’re doing everything in your power to protect yourself from this tiny tyrant that has suddenly taken over the body of your sweet, docile kitten.
What happened? Why has your innocent furbaby turned into a teeny tiny murderer?
Answer: The Kitten Crazies. The Kitten Crazies overcome all kittens at some point or another, often as a result of boredom.
I have the Kitten Crazies and I will NOT BE STOPPED UNTIL THIS MOUSE IS.
There are a few cures for the Kitten Crazies, but one is more effective than all the rest:
We iz pretty cute, right?
Adopt two kittens together.
Seems counterintuitive, you might be thinking. Won’t that just double the amount of Kitten Crazies occurring in my home? Sure, but it’s all a matter of perspective. Those Crazies could be directed toward your hands, arms, feet, and any other visible parts of your body, or they could be directed on another kitten until both are so tired that they eventually pass out in your lap.
Earlier we nearly killed each other. Now we are sleepy.
Sounds pretty perfect, right?
But wait, isn’t it double the work to have two kittens? Sure, there’s twice as much poop to scoop. But it saves you the trouble of waving a wand toy for hours on end (it’s fun for a little while, but it can get old after two hours straight with no signs of slowing down).
Look how tiny and ferocious I am!
Kittens can be downright dangerous. They’re basically knives covered in a thin layer of fur. But with another kitten around, suddenly all that energy has somewhere to go. Because while it’s cute to have a 1-pound kitten swipe at your hand, it’s less cute when that kitten is a full-on teenager capable of inflicting considerable damage.
Need something destroyed? I’m happy to oblige.
Not to mention the $$ you’ll save from property damage – because if there’s anything kittens love to do, it’s scratch up the furniture and knock over your favorite antique objects.
Adopting two kittens can be a life-saver for people with limited time to spend playing with their new kittens. It gives both kittens a chance to get the Crazies out, and protects your hands and feet in the process. Plus, it’s just downright fun to watch two kittens go all out on each other, WWE style.
We solemnly swear we are up to no good.